Digital Detox

So God wants me to stay off the computer for a week. I have to do it. This year is about God, and getting stuff right so I can move forward with my life. This will be my last post for a while, although I may end up getting a pen and some paper to backlog what I am going through. The electrons rule my life, and they have too much sway. I'm losing patience, losing attention span, and losing sleep. Games are consuming my life and my online life is becoming more important than my real life. Time to take a break. Time to detoxify the digital poisons.

Good bye my friends (I'd say it all fancy in another language, but I know I'd stuff it up).

Self Deception

Yes I know that, BUT... I know I should, BUT... Why all the but's? Why can't I just live it? I'm going off the rails. Luckily, God pulled me up. The conversation went a little like this:

"Lord, what do you want me to do about her? I can't help my feelings, but it's just not gonna work."
"She's already yours."
"What? No! That's not right... what am I supposed to do?"
"Follow me. She's already yours."
"How do you know? It can't be that simple!"
"Follow me."

And then I realised. What does anyone who loves God want? Someone who lights up that passion for God in their hearts! Following God makes me a model, and I can't do it without Him. The right kind of person will be attracted to me if I concentrate on God... because the right kind of person for me is one who loves God. That love and approval I seek from someone who matters to me, I can be assured is there simply because I follow God. At least I can sleep at night now without the pain gnawing at my soul. I wonder what tomorrow will bring... It's sure to be totally awesome!

big isn't me

And once again, God has reminded me that I am not the center of the universe. Why do big things have to be about me? Why can't big things be about others? They can, and they will. I do feel honoured, God has once again given me a beautiful insight into the life that goes on around me. Knowing and sharing struggles and shortcomings with others is something special, I don't know why.

With knowledge, however, comes responsibility. Not telling is humanly achievable, but praying consistently for others is harder. Maybe it's our own nature, maybe it's the devil plotting against God's work. Whatever it is, I have to break it. Prayer is one of the most powerful weapons we have, and one of the best ways of helping people through hard times.

maybe other things are happening too. I'd like to think they were... but I fool myself and cause so much pain so frequently with my guessing that I really should stop. God will move the earth in His time, but I really need to touch base again. I've been reminded of another promise I asked, that is happening around me. Now I have to serve in my own way, and be faithful.

Some days I want to cry because I feel so alone in this world. Today I want to cry because of the beauty of God's work unfolding in the lives of my friends. Go figure.