Spaces
It's become apparent to me recently that introverted people operate on a "spaces" mentality. I remember reading a thesis on this once, but it lacked an application of the principles it discussed. I'll attempt to share what I've learned about myself, and hopefully it will help others who are frustrated at always being in the corner.
We all operate best in a certain space we feel familiar with. We're comfortable with it and we prefer it. For melancholics, like me, spaces are actually physical places and combinations of groups of people. A different mix of even the people I know, becomes a dynamic I'm unfamiliar and a little uncomfortable with. I get used to physical locations, I become familiar with them. I become familiar with the way certain people interact and act in each other's presence. If any of this changes, it introduces an unknown that can unbalance me or sap my confidence.
The key for me, then is to take spaces. I need to step out and put my foot in it, otherwise it will never be a space I'm comfortable with. I might have to force myself to visit somewhere new, or force myself to be loud even though I'm not normally. I have to become comfortable with expressing who I am in a group, and I have to become comfortable with navigating and being in control in an environment.
I'm a creature of habit by nature, so I must form habit as early and as wide as possible. Then later, I have to make sure I break habit in order to try new things. The key is doing so adventurously. I don't have to be someone I'm not, but I will end up frustrated and lonely if I don't keep creating places in a world that is so chaotic and full of change.
So now I aim to step out of my comfort zone deliberately. I step out at specific places that I want to establish a familiarity with. I don't have to push myself to be outgoing and adventurous all the time - that's for the outgoing people. Once I establish a familiarity, I will look and feel much more confident and adventurous in that area.
As a shy person, I think that's one of the most wonderful things to learn.... because it can be frustrating to sit in a corner.
We all operate best in a certain space we feel familiar with. We're comfortable with it and we prefer it. For melancholics, like me, spaces are actually physical places and combinations of groups of people. A different mix of even the people I know, becomes a dynamic I'm unfamiliar and a little uncomfortable with. I get used to physical locations, I become familiar with them. I become familiar with the way certain people interact and act in each other's presence. If any of this changes, it introduces an unknown that can unbalance me or sap my confidence.
The key for me, then is to take spaces. I need to step out and put my foot in it, otherwise it will never be a space I'm comfortable with. I might have to force myself to visit somewhere new, or force myself to be loud even though I'm not normally. I have to become comfortable with expressing who I am in a group, and I have to become comfortable with navigating and being in control in an environment.
I'm a creature of habit by nature, so I must form habit as early and as wide as possible. Then later, I have to make sure I break habit in order to try new things. The key is doing so adventurously. I don't have to be someone I'm not, but I will end up frustrated and lonely if I don't keep creating places in a world that is so chaotic and full of change.
So now I aim to step out of my comfort zone deliberately. I step out at specific places that I want to establish a familiarity with. I don't have to push myself to be outgoing and adventurous all the time - that's for the outgoing people. Once I establish a familiarity, I will look and feel much more confident and adventurous in that area.
As a shy person, I think that's one of the most wonderful things to learn.... because it can be frustrating to sit in a corner.
Labels: how to live life
posted by Merlz at 2:49 AM
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