They Think
They think me arrogant because some things are obvious to me. They think me arrogant because things happen through me. They think me arrogant because I cannot communicate respectfully.
Maybe I do need to change. Undoubtedly I do need to change. I live an existence of painful incompleteness. I live struggling every day to care for myself in the basic necessities. I seem to have missed out on some very basic survival urges. Does that make me better than anyone else? Instead I try to learn as much as I can from them, so that I can try to be a little less broken.
I do not know that God would work through me if I was less broken. It's my insufficiency that keeps me waiting on Him. If they understood the pain of willing sacrifice, and the pain of being unable to work normally... maybe then I'd be taken seriously. As it is, many laugh at both the things I choose to sacrifice and my inability to function.
I know very well what authority I bear. Maybe if they did too, they'd be able to move mountains. I think that I'm just weak enough to be able to....
Maybe I do need to change. Undoubtedly I do need to change. I live an existence of painful incompleteness. I live struggling every day to care for myself in the basic necessities. I seem to have missed out on some very basic survival urges. Does that make me better than anyone else? Instead I try to learn as much as I can from them, so that I can try to be a little less broken.
I do not know that God would work through me if I was less broken. It's my insufficiency that keeps me waiting on Him. If they understood the pain of willing sacrifice, and the pain of being unable to work normally... maybe then I'd be taken seriously. As it is, many laugh at both the things I choose to sacrifice and my inability to function.
I know very well what authority I bear. Maybe if they did too, they'd be able to move mountains. I think that I'm just weak enough to be able to....
posted by Merlz at 5:39 AM
2 Comments:
Perhaps they were not clear enough but this will give them opportunity.
'They ' do not think you arrogant because some things are obvious to you or because things happen through you but simply because of the way they are communicated.
'They' are stoked that some things are obvious to you, even some things that 'they' are only just discovering.
They are amazed at things that are happening through you, some of them they have never heard of before. God seems to be doing something at a level they haven't seen before.
They however are concerned because when communicated to them, they are made to feel small or uneducated or unspiritual or un-whatever it is you have communicated that somehow they were supposed to know. They don't know everything and they are fine with that. This is a team that we're on together fighting the same war so communicate like that. Speak not out of arrogance but to help an 'officer' out with information that will help the whole team.
Yes they think you're arrogant because you can't communicate respectfully. But you are willing to learn and they are willing to help. They think you can do it.
..... or just maybe I think what I am saying to be so unlikely that I joke about it. The problem with being gifted is not in dealing with my failings, it's in everyone else not seeing them and expecting that I believe I can do anything.
Anyway, as a soldier it's not my place to create or claim the missions. Doing so would be above my rank - it would be pretending to be someone I'm not. I'm here to serve wherever I'm asked to, and I will do so in God's strength to the best of my ability.
Post a Comment
<< Home