Headspace

Struggle, turmoil, upheaval. Take it, love it, eat it. Grind away, day after day. Slowly burning out like a nearly spent candle.

Forget it - it cannot be done, unless you forget it. We can plant ourselves in the right soil, feed ourselves the right nourishment... but we are not in control of our growth. Only our lack of growth.

False humility - the pride of the pharisees - finds its way into hearts that don't forget. It is careful not to reveal itself - it insinuates into conversation. Criticism is how you shall know it. The right to judge, the right to speak, the right to condemn - even if it is not a person.

Opinion - be hesitant to deal in it. Be wary that you do not respect your own above another's. Informed, uninformed, they all have an equal basis in ignorance. Rejection is how we say we are too proud to listen. Overpowering with arguments is not necessary. Talk of experience, or nothing. It's no good to lie to yourself, and you cannot lie to God.

Let me deal once more as the broken - unfit to judge or condemn. Let me be simply a vessel - your mouth and your hands. I want nothing more right now than to be free of my own condemnation. It is a curse that stops me from moving forward, and an evil that feeds on my exhaustion. Now I'm going to do something about it. Now I'm going to tell someone.