The Natural Order

So I think I've worked out what this exhausting, uncomfortable, burning feeling I get in some classes is all about. I think it's my frustrated calling surfacing and grabbing at my attention. Some days I feel like Jeremiah - I hold it in but it just burns inside me. The other day I was unsure that I wanted to go back to college. It felt too big, too challenging; and I was too unworthy. I'm starting to make sense of things, and the more I do so, the more I see that the answer comes from without.

I honestly can't wait for the day I figure this internal stuff out so I can get over myself and just serve others. Something tells me it's gonna take time and SOM isn't necessarily the answer. Character is not built on several hours a week face-to-face. It's built on a role model who does life with you.

Here's an interesting thought: what makes a successful minister is not talent, but character. What builds character is not a course, but a mentor. And now for the obligatory scripture quote: no student is above his teacher, but it is enough that he will become like his teacher.

I'm learning a lot now, but my future will be set not by what I do or don't learn, but by my decision to submit to a leader who can take me to my destiny. I believe with great conviction that God's plan is NOT for each one of us to re-learn every lesson that our leaders have learned, but to pick up from our leaders the thought and action patterns that make successful, lasting men and women of God. God will strategically position us, then, under the perfect leader to teach us what we need to excel. We just need to learn how to learn the Kingdom way now. I think apprenticeship is probably the best description of this. Or discipleship. Take your pick.