The day I died

I want to die. Wait, maybe I did die. Sure feels like it. Tonight I was a leader, a real one. When I wake up it'll all be over, thankfully. Imagine living like this every day, stretching myself far beyond my own personality and ability. Imagine dying myself each day, just to get through. Imagine being that vulnerable, that I know I'm only doing it by grace. Imagine wearing that mantle, granted only by God's willing grace. I would be a new creation, and in my weakness God's strength would be made perfect. Perhaps this is what Paul was talking about. One thing's for sure, I'm going to need a lot more of God's strength to do it...