Wow, just wow...
I actually had a pretty bad day today. It was raining so I didn't go to uni, and my housemates were all at home for the day too. They were *really* annoyin me. I'd just curled up on my bed in despair when my phone went off. It was tash asking me if I wanted to go to the no limits night service. I'm never one to turn down some more of God, so I went along.
Most speakers at conferences are good, but every so often one has a talk that blows everything else away. It's something that's not entirely old or new. It's something that takes a lot of what you know and are familiar with, and builds on it. Something that changes world perceptions profoundly. Tonight was one of those talks. I'm not going to begin to try repeating it here, because I don't think I can do justice in the communication. Instead I'll say this: it totally changed my view of prayer.
Prayer isn't about asking God for what you want. Prayer is about submitting to God and telling him what you need. There's a second part to this: God often seems like he doesn't answer our prayers. He likes to wait until things are at their lowest, when you know that only He can help you. Then He'll begin to work. God loves showing off. Prayer also isn't about talking to someone outside and above you. God lives within you, and that's where you should be when you pray. Forget regarding Him as up there in Heaven somewhere looking down, He's inside us ALL!!
And then something strange happened. I'm not normally one to take too much stock in visions, talking in tongues, etc. I remain skeptical unless I can see/feel God's presence in it. I tend to think of this more as a "testing of spirits" than actually doubting. I don't doubt, but it's kinda strange when it actually happens to you. Suddenly you're not able to discount a lot of things you used to. I know I saw a vision from God, but I have no idea what it means or why I saw it. I saw a white outline of a cross on a black background, with magenta fire burning from the inner edges of the white lines. Then I fell, or probably more precisely leapt through. I have no doubt it was real, I kept seeing flashes of light when I closed my eyes earlier in the night... as if I'd just missed something. I think that was it.
Darren (my pastor) thinks it signifies something big in my life that I need to let go of to move forwards. I don't discount the possibility, it sounds quite likely. Even if I don't know what it is that I need to let go of. But there's a niggling little voice in the corner of my mind that says it's not about me per se. I get the feeling it has something to do with the future. I don't know, I'll have to do some more praying. After tonight I really feel like the horizons for my prayer have been broadened. I have to thank tash and trin so much for dragging me along... I owe a lot to them, and they're a great encouragement when I'm feeling down.
Looking back on my blog, it's amazing how much of this is deep God stuff, considering I'm constantly feeling that I don't acknowledge him enough in my life. Ahhh well, "Where your treasure is, there also your heart lies".
Most speakers at conferences are good, but every so often one has a talk that blows everything else away. It's something that's not entirely old or new. It's something that takes a lot of what you know and are familiar with, and builds on it. Something that changes world perceptions profoundly. Tonight was one of those talks. I'm not going to begin to try repeating it here, because I don't think I can do justice in the communication. Instead I'll say this: it totally changed my view of prayer.
Prayer isn't about asking God for what you want. Prayer is about submitting to God and telling him what you need. There's a second part to this: God often seems like he doesn't answer our prayers. He likes to wait until things are at their lowest, when you know that only He can help you. Then He'll begin to work. God loves showing off. Prayer also isn't about talking to someone outside and above you. God lives within you, and that's where you should be when you pray. Forget regarding Him as up there in Heaven somewhere looking down, He's inside us ALL!!
And then something strange happened. I'm not normally one to take too much stock in visions, talking in tongues, etc. I remain skeptical unless I can see/feel God's presence in it. I tend to think of this more as a "testing of spirits" than actually doubting. I don't doubt, but it's kinda strange when it actually happens to you. Suddenly you're not able to discount a lot of things you used to. I know I saw a vision from God, but I have no idea what it means or why I saw it. I saw a white outline of a cross on a black background, with magenta fire burning from the inner edges of the white lines. Then I fell, or probably more precisely leapt through. I have no doubt it was real, I kept seeing flashes of light when I closed my eyes earlier in the night... as if I'd just missed something. I think that was it.
Darren (my pastor) thinks it signifies something big in my life that I need to let go of to move forwards. I don't discount the possibility, it sounds quite likely. Even if I don't know what it is that I need to let go of. But there's a niggling little voice in the corner of my mind that says it's not about me per se. I get the feeling it has something to do with the future. I don't know, I'll have to do some more praying. After tonight I really feel like the horizons for my prayer have been broadened. I have to thank tash and trin so much for dragging me along... I owe a lot to them, and they're a great encouragement when I'm feeling down.
Looking back on my blog, it's amazing how much of this is deep God stuff, considering I'm constantly feeling that I don't acknowledge him enough in my life. Ahhh well, "Where your treasure is, there also your heart lies".
posted by Merlz at 12:35 AM
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