Clash Point Break

I guess it finally happened. Who I am has finally overtaken my own emotions and comfort zones. A small step for some, but an irrevocable change for me. A step that changes everything. I have broken my own rules, broken my own character, and hit something that completely scares me because I've done what I know is right. It's a place I wouldn't go again if i could choose, but I know now I've done it the first time, it will continue.

I do not approach people. It's not me. Yet I asked him if he wanted prayer. He said no. Did people tell Jesus they didn't want healing? It's far beyond what I imagined I would do, and yet I did it. What happens to me now?

I feel odd - I'm not the person I thought I was. I'm someone else. A stranger wearing my skin. What else do I not know I will do? It's an empty feeling - the fear clenching as I realised afterward what I had done. It needed a lot of God's presence to restore.

And yet, at the end, He left me hanging: "You have done what I asked. You have done well. The next time you reach out, I'll reach back and touch you."

There is a war in my spirit between fear and faith. It's disrupting my normal function and confusing me. What does it mean?