Climbing Mountains

Lately, I feel like I've been climbing a very high, gruelling mountain. Every time I think I've reached the top (or at least a resting place), I scramble over the big rock just to see more unending slope. I wondered at first if this was a test of my resolve, but my resolve has not been shaken. Maybe it is strengthening me against loss, but if this is just a strengthening then I dread to see what the test of this strength is.

This is a slope I struggle to climb, but one that no one can climb for me. This is a place of such tension that even apathy cannot exist. Each day I struggle with lost dreams, doubts and desires tearing at my soul; who I was is something hard to let go of. Regardless of what I feel, I will walk on. God chose me for this path, because He alone knows the strength of my heart.

I've begun to wonder, too, whether this mountain is something every leader must climb in order to see the way ahead. It's a small light in the dark. If I was to be honest, the real reason I keep going is because I suspect Heaven lies at the top of this mountain.