The Heart of the Matter

Lord, I stand before you alone and torn. I've wandered deserts far from your grace, and found nothing but pain. I walk with my head bowed; my sins are uncountable. I cry out for forgiveness, but can I even forgive myself?

My heart burns for you - you have saved me from myself and my sins. All that I am, all my strength and all my love is less than what I want to give. Even so, I give you less than all of me, and it grieves my heart when I realise it.

My life is a battle for who I am, but I fear I am losing already. I need a transformation of my world - to see my life through your eyes. Show me the reality I'm so scared of, teach me to embrace this world and its pains.

I used to shout for your presence, I used to seek your glory. Now I do not want it. I am not worthy of your glory, but keep your voice with me. I would rather walk these deserts knowing only your voice, than bask in your glory all day long without learning from you.

Give me deep roots, Lord. Give me strength to fight through the unending trials that rise up before me. Heal my wounds, turn my defeats into victories. Lead me into your promise Lord, so that all can see your power and praise you!

My heart burns to praise you, even when I am wretched. My passion is for you, who taught me how to live. Finish your work in me, so that I can teach others your ways. Make me wise by your standards, and share with me your knowledge and wonders.

Lord I am your servant. Please, have mercy on me.