standing still, moving forward

I've never been a big fan of the view that growing in God is an automatic process, but I've just realised recently how much I've been growing. All I've been doing is seeking God, asking for more of His heart and a bigger capacity and drive to do His work. I've been getting it, even though I haven't seen it. There are moments of clarity, where I briefly see how far I've come. Personally, I'm more focused on where I'm going, but it's very encouraging. I wish everyone had the same desire and drive for God that I do, and I sense it growing in some of my friends (I've been praying for them, although I admit not as much as I should) which is just beautiful to see and share.

God really challenged me tonight. I connected with a kid at youth, and prayed for him, but I felt God wanted to say something else to me too. I went out at the end of the night and had a bit of a pray about it. It's amazing how clearly you can hear God's voice sometimes. Yes, voice. There goes more preconceptions. Talking with God is really cool, but He must get annoyed about all my questions (why? why? really? why? ...). Apparently I'm a leader (where and when, I have no idea... but I'm not taking responsibility for my leadership right now). I'm going to be a mentor, and I'm called to youth work to heal. Pretty big words really. Why is it that the future's always scarey with God? I don't mean in a bad way... but in an uncertain, thrilling way/